Learn

Looking for some relief? Want to provide some relief?

We can increase our capacity to care.

The hotter they get, the hungrier they get and the more they burn, the more they want.

But often our only response is,  "They are resilient."

This frequent mood of deep melancholy feels right.

The needs are too many and too big.

After surviving the Boston Marathon attack, Heather Abbott, right, started a foundation to provide customized prosthetics to amputees across the country. She worked with prosthetist David Rotter, left, to help Vidal Lopez, center, after his car accident.

It was a long road trip, so for a little while she allowed her children to unfasten their seat belts. Tragedy soon followed. The kids climbed into the back of their SUV to watch a video together. A bad patch on the road caused this mother to lose control of her vehicle. It rolled off the shoulder and the youngest child died at the scene. The anguish of the mother with unending grief was complicated by felony reckless child endangerment charges. Her love and service for her children will always be marked with the guilt of a of a well meaning mistake. A man cried, "I failed to love my wife the way a man should love his wife." Now alone, after a costly divorce, grief and guilt mingle causing a complicated pain. Dr. Kenneth Haugk, founder of Stephen Ministry, devotes several chapters of his book, Christian Caregiving a Way of Life, to the wonderful gift of forgiveness. "Forgiveness does not mean ignoring what has been done or putting a false label on an evil act. It means that the evil act no longer becomes a barrier to the relationship." (p. 82, Martin Luther King, Jr. quote) As Christian caregivers, forgiveness is central to our theology of a loving, gracious and merciful God. In the Lord's Prayer we pray, "forgive us our trespass as we forgive those who trespass against us." Forgiveness opens the door for a relationship with God bringing relief from the burden of our wrong actions plus it provides hope and healing for a redemptive future. But knowing the theology of forgiveness often does not immediately translate to experiencing it personally and emotionally. I was visiting a man who was dying of AIDS. He acquired this dreaded disease through high risk behavior in the world of drugs and lascivious living. He lost everything: his marriage, his kids, possessions, jobs, health and soon his life. I listened as he confessed his story while he was searching for relief from the guilt of his actions. The consequences were severe. At his request, I was eager to explain the theology of forgiveness from a loving Savior. He received it with much thanks. On my last visit with him he asked me how he could be assured of forgiveness before he met his Maker. This time it was my extreme privilege to speak forgiveness to him. "Yet sometimes a real live human being assuring another that God has forgiven him or her can be a great comfort. Realizing that you are are privileged to share God's absolution (forgiveness) in a personal, one to one context can increase the effectiveness of your caring. You are functioning as an ambassador of God, carrying the embassage of divine forgiveness to a broken world." (p. 91.92) The list of wrongs that cause people to be guilty and feel guilty seems to be getting longer. When you care for people without judgment, listen to their story and allow them opportunity to confess their actions, you will be sought after to help people find relief from their guilt. What you do matters! Your life matters, Chaplain Dan Rev. Daniel R. Hettinger 303.905.0478