Have you ever heard, "A neat desk is the sign of a sick mind"?
If it is true, either I have a sick mind or am I am working on it. My desk, pictured at the right, needs to be neat for me to get anything done. I don't like walking into my study if I have a pile of unfinished work on my desk.
It is not only my desk, but my Full Focus Planner and my devotional life that I try to organize and stay on top of. Especially in this chapter of my life, when I have more control over my schedule, I am looking for the best rhythms of stillness and activity, reading and writing, people and organization, rest and exercise, recreation and work...
But life is more like the desk in the top picture.
Care Ministry is walking with people when life gets messy. Matthew Kelly opens up about the mess his life became after a long string of years being better than the last. A bad year was followed by a worse year. Then it happened again and the wrong direction was established that caused suffering that overwhelmed and confused.
It is good and healthy to have desires, set goals, plan, prioritize and work to make our lives and the world better. But, along the way there is a broad spectrum of adversities, adversaries, mistakes and weaknesses that mess everything up.
Even more troubling are the losses that turn life upside down. The pain raises questions that don't have answers. No one is exempt. Grief is the most common human experience.
If we subscribe to the mistaken notion that it is wrong to have problems, and we try to control everything, then we have two problems. The problem itself and the unrealistic notion that we should not have problems or that we should be able to handle every problem we face.
In Life is Messy, Kelly writes, "Sometimes when your life has been turned upside down, after the dust settles, you discover that your life is finally right side up. Sometimes when you feel lost you are exactly where you need to be at that moment." (p. 26)
This quote is not to be misused like Romans 8:28 often is, by calling the bad good and trying to make something positive out of a negative thing, which results in blame and/or feeling guilty for feeling bad.
Instead, understanding the broken nature of our existence that makes life messy and painful, empowers us to live with healthier expectations and find strength and hope that is real. We can also be honest and cry in anguish, ask questions, even if they have no answers, and grieve.
Kelly goes on to write, "Life is messy, but it isn't just a mess. Life is also wonderful. But this is the perspective that departs us when we are in the thick of the mess. We lose sight of all the good and get consumed by the turmoil we are embroiled in. We are tempted at these times to think that life will never be good again. This is the perspective that steals away our hope. The whole truth is that life is mess, but it is also wonderful and beautiful and awe-inspiring." p.33
The goal of care ministry is not to fix people or make their problems go away. It is to walk with them through the mess until some light comes into their darkness.
I try to keep my desk organized so I can accomplish more in my work. But only a part of life is lived and work is done at my desk. I must leave the orderliness of my desk--and realize that often it is cluttered--and enter into the mess of my life and the lives of others. Care is going to where the pain and the mess is.
It is in the mess that the beauty and awe of God's love and life are most beautiful. When you care for people by walking beside them in their mess, your care helps the messy find beauty.
Your care matters!
Your life matters,
Chaplain Dan
Rev. Daniel R. Hettinger
303.905.0478
