Who would have thought that a kiss could help us matter so much? Make us a better person? Help us flourish so we can care more?
 
Maybe my wife sees how caring for others sometimes makes me tired. How all the needs can overwhelm me. She sent me the following devotional from Ann Voskamp’s book, One Thousand Gifts, for Valentine’s Day and I thought you might enjoy it on this special day. I need to remember that all of her concerns for family, finances, my schedule, and her concerns weigh on her too.
 
“So, Man of Mine, when you come to me and tell me that one of the kids locked the keys in your truck — again — I see how your shoulders sag. How life wears at a man, how life weighs at a man.

We do that, you and I. We let the bulk of the details of a life press us down, drag us down… You had a production report to finish. Unopened bills stack on the desk by the phone with it’s blinking messages demanding answers. One of the kids is emotionally imploding.

This is hard.

There are 3 kids with piano lessons on Mondays, 2 with pick-up basketball on Wednesdays, and one kid who has get to back to the doctor this week to have his stitches taken out, and when do I just get to take you out?

When does a woman get to sit across the table from the man she gave her I do to — and not think about her to-do list? 

When do we get to re-member why we fell in love and re-member us in a world that tries to dis-member us with the sharp edge of a thousand little things? When do we make it stop: Death by daily things can be painfully slow.

When is there time for us to do what will undo our coupled stress…? 

What we really need to do is to make time. Yeah, I know: Time is a supreme gift — and the one thing nobody really wants to give to anybody. But I’m slowing down for you…. I decide you. I decide us…

So we’re the married fools committed to it now everyday, like our dance step through life’s minefield, a kiss. A long and slow 10 seconds. [The Real 5 Second Rule Times Two]

Bills. Laundry. Kids. Groceries. Kids. Dishes. Kids. Garbage. Errands. To-Do lists. Kids.

Kiss. A long and Slow 10 Seconds. [The Real 5 Second Rule Times Two] It could be the vow of the married: The 10 Second Kiss for Wedded Bliss.

And yeah, a kiss may not mean bliss — but it may mean a beginning? So there’s that: Every day we’ll kiss each other 10 seconds or longer — like we did at the altar. Like we have the time to be living sacrifices for each other…

Why we didn’t frame it and title the moment before? Because every married mother, every married father, ever married wage earner, mortgage maker, bill payer, needs to remember how they are still a married lover.

I have no idea why we haven’t done this before. No idea why they don’t tell you on your wedding day that there is a 'disproportionate amount of brain space taken up with processing information from the lips compared to the rest our our bodies and how even a light brush of the lips lights up a large part of our brain…

How didn’t we know that cortisol levels, which determines our stress levels, decreases after kissing. Who knew that the 10 Second kiss of Wedded Bliss nixes hours of stress. Who knew that locking of lips unlocks oxytocin, the hormone that makes us bond and keeps us bonded, keeps us attached, keeps us connected.

Yeah, our life is hard. And our love is stronger.”

(From One Thousand Gifts: Devotional on Finding Everyday Graces by Ann Voscamp, the February 12th reading.)

So, what every your caring role, in all your care for others, don’t forget your highest priority, to care for your spouse. Because when you do you are doing what is right. You also care for yourself and you stay healthy so you can continue to care for others.