You need to see oncology tomorrow."

The 25th it will be one year since I received that call. I will never forget.

Since then I have

• had a huge surgery,
• been through six months of in-patient, in-home and out patient therapy,
• made a remarkable recovery and
• twice, received the "all-clear" after CT scans!

During that time I also lost two friends to cancer: Dan Harder, who helped me launch my podcast (coming soon!) and Richard Powell, a colleague in care ministry.

Cancer changes everything, even when you make a recovery. There is always the chance of recurrence, which is usually more dangerous than the first occurrence and now I know it can happen to me.

I have adjusted to the strange feelings in my hip that, according to my doctor, "Will be permanent reminders of what my body has been through." With much thankfulness I can say, "My schedule and activities have returned to normal."

For too many people a cancer diagnosis is the beginning of a life filled with radical adjustments and panful battles.

The cancer diagnosis is the unwelcome beginning-of-the-end for some.

When one receives the news "you have cancer," it is date that is unforgettable. CAKE (click for more info), the largest end-of-life platform on the internet, founded by MIT and Harvard alumni, introduced me to a good word for that day--CANCERVERSARY.

"A cancerversary is fully personal to anyone with cancer or a deep connection to it. A cancerversary can be any milestone throughout your journey with cancer or the journey of someone you love. 

These milestones can be positive, negative, or somewhere in between. With any disease, there are likely high points and low points. But, as you may know, there is beauty, even in the valleys of life.

If you’re wondering just how much cancerversaries can differ from one person to the next, here are a few examples. That being said, any person may have more than one cancerversary, especially if they went through extensive treatment. 

Some potential cancerversaries include:

• The date of a diagnosis
• The date of a surgery
• The date of the start of a round of treatment
• The final day of a round of treatment
• The day you or learned you were in remission (or someone you love)
• The day someone you love died of cancer

How Do You Celebrate a Cancerversary?

There really are no rules when it comes to celebrating a cancerversary. You can treat it just as you would any other birthday or holiday. Depending on who the guest of honor is, you can even have traditions or a set of guidelines that you follow each year. Or, they can change accordingly... 

When you or a loved one is sick, time may take on a different meaning. You may not look at the year as a typical calendar. Instead, you may be focusing on treatment schedules or checkups. But, that being said, you may also cherish each and every moment that much more.

Cancerversaries provide an opportunity to celebrate or take pause, even in the chaos of it all. It’s crucial to take time to enjoy your life — ill or not...

This is a great idea to help you look back on the good memories with loved ones, even if it may be painful at times. Not being able to look back would be more painful, after all. " (From the CAKE website).

Before I learned the word, I could feel the significance of the date stirring in my emotions. Instead of the excitement of a happy holiday, I felt a vague and general sense of anxiety dominating my mood over the last week or two. Feelings of vulnerability and irritability that cancer is now part of my life were mingled with gratitude that I am cancer free today.

My cancerversary is personal. I don't expect others to remember or understand what it means to me--I am still trying to figure out the full impact of my cancerversary.

But, the way that I will celebrate my cancerversary is decided. I will re-read all of the cards that people sent me and review my Facebook and CaringBridge messages. I've organized and saved all of my cards and I'm in the process of sending a "Thanks for Journeying with me" card, with a personal message, to everyone who sent one to me.

This experience awakens in me the reality of the love and help of God and the value and support of friends.

From now on, when I hear people talk about how many years they have been cancer free, or reminisce their day of diagnosis, surgery or chemo/radiation treatments, I will listen more attentively and ask them to describe the moods and details of that defining moment in their life.

By pausing to recognize someone's cancerversary, whether with tears or excitement, you will help them celebrate and feel cared for.

Your care matters!

Your life matters,
Chaplain Dan
Rev. Daniel R. Hettinger

303.905.0478