The nature of care ministry is to respond to needs when they happen.  They often happen at inconvenient times.

I first published this post last year about this time. That was about AFib when the news came that my wife's Dad developed heart problems. He was in the hospital with atrial fibrillation ( aka AFib). People live with AFib but also have strokes and die from AFib, so with heart related deaths in his family, Susan was very concerned about her Dad in North Carolina.

This week it is cancer.

Now I update the post with a new crisis. There is a lesion, perhaps a metastasis. We don't know but something serious is going on.  So, without plans for a trip and nestled down, after a long trip last month, for the final month of winter, it is back in the car and travelling again for a necessary, not pleasure, trip.

There is never a convenient time for the things we hope will never happen.

Our plans don't include these emergencies and they interrupt our schedules that are already full. Adjustments to routines are made that define a father-daughter relationship and express the love they have for each other. There may not be a second chance for this type of visit.

Throughout our life in ministry, we have lived at least a couple hundred miles away from family--most of the years about 1500 miles apart. Visits were precious. They also required major trips that were expensive and required a lot of planning, so they didn't happen nearly enough. Susan lived with the constant sacrifice of being far away.

We decided with the AFib she would take the time, as much as needed, for her to be with her Dad. That remains our practice.

If the condition becomes worse, she will be there.  If he recovers, she will be there. In either case she will be present to attend doctor visits, understand the treatments and provide the practical support of caring for her Dad. The value of this time far surpasses the costs of time, or money. Our lives can be interrupted because this is a very high priority.

Through her presence, everything will be said that needs to be said and done that needs to be done.

While it does not make up for all the times that they missed seeing each other over the years when recreational and holiday trips were not always possible , it does provide a sense of fulfillment as they have an extended time of togetherness -- especially at a critical time. His AFib plateaued and so she returned home. We don't know how long the cancer situation will last and what the outcome will be but in both cases there is the peace that, if something catastrophic does happen, she has no unfinished business. Everything will be said that needs to be said and done that needs to be done. 

Another daughter to another father that I know of, spent the last several months of his life out of state, at his home during in his  final stages with cancer. The time, well spent, revealed priorities, expressed love, and addressed life-long regrets.

Wise caregivers know, care is not convenient, life is interrupted by need, and you can't care in a hurry.

So when someone is trying to decide what to do when a crisis interrupts their plans, help them to find a way to spend time with their loved ones.  It probably is inconvenient, but it is a lot better than living with the regrets of unexpressed love and missed opportunities.

Do we allow for the interrupt factors in our ministries too?

During the busy Sunday morning activities at the church of one of my friends and Care Pastor colleagues, a 47-year-old man experienced a cardiac event in the church lobby. All normal activities were interrupted while the paramedics attempted resuscitation. The worship songs seemed inappropriate.  The sermon too. So everything stopped. People were quiet. Prayerful. Contemplative. Supportive of the close friends and family of the man in the critical situation. Unfortunately, this young man did not survive.

Many plans and programs are interrupted by emergency surgeries, accidents, and an unexpected diagnosis--sometimes shootings, crimes and protests. We are often frustrated, confused and perhaps angered by the inconvenience of this need for care. Those emotions are normal.  But above the emotions we should be prepared to be interrupted. Can we pivot to respond to a need? Will we put our plans on hold and be present with the person who needs our care? Slow down? Listen?

Interruptions are to be expected. 

The interruptions are the defining moments of life, often more than efforts and results of the plans we make. We need to raise up a culture of "Good Samaritans" who are trained to care and willing to be interrupted. When we do we will care better than ever before, people will feel God's care and we will live and minister with the knowledge  that we did what mattered.

We have a care crisis in our ministries. Our culture longs for someone to stop and care for them. I hope this post helps you handle interruptions with grace so you offer the best care.