Before my first Blue Christmas Service, I didn't understand what it really was. Or who it was for. Or if it could help those in deepest pain.

A Blue Christmas service can help people in shock and grief get through the holidays and find some comfort in a service designed especially for them.

THE STORY OF A DECEMBER SUICIDE
Christmas decorations were up. The shopping had already begun when this family was shocked by the suicide of one of the children. Life changed forever for the grieving parents and sibling. Christmas season would now be the anniversary that would trigger heavy emotions and horrible memories.

In profound sadness, they gallantly stumbled, in shock, through the necessary memorial service and the first Christmas. With God's help they managed to put one foot in front of the other as the new year arrived -- back to shopping, preparing meals, work and school. But it was brutal.

They endured a whole year that way, but Christmas was coming again and so was the first anniversary of their horrible loss.

"Will you have a tree this year?" I asked the mother. 

Her answer was, "She put up the tree last year. We never took it down. It was a small one, and that is the only one we will have this year. We will be together as a family."

Even though we were communicating by text......I could hear the pain.

I could also hear hope and love in her words, "It is painful. But only because we had the joy of knowing her. Also, of living life closely with her, loving her, and for all those privileges and blessings I am grateful. I feel the pain because of the love." She continued , "I wouldn't trade it, because carrying the pain now means even greater joy when we see her again."

A star shone in the black sky to lead the wise men to the manger. There, God came into the darkness of night and into the darkness of a broken world and each life so He could be Emmanuel--God with us (Matthew 1:23). His light brings salvation to our hurting world as each person receives it into their broken and painful life. 

My grief mentor, Karen Schoenhals, explained how sorrow and joy can mingle in the theology of Christmas.

"To successfully grieve, not sinking into bitterness and despair, i

s to allow room in our hearts for both joy and sorrow to exist,

to be experienced simultaneously, and to be openly acknowledged together.

And the beauty of Christmas is Emmanuel, God with us,

who lost everything when He came into this dark world to save us --

to walk with us through our dark path of grief and give us joy."

Perhaps, more than any other Christmas celebration, a Blue Christmas Service takes us to the reality of our need where life is painful, and answers escape us. But mixed with our losses and grief a light the size of a candle glows with the hope of meaning and purpose that is beyond what we can see or understand. It is there, we find our hope, comfort, love and joy through the Christ child. 

A Blue Christmas Service is an honest celebration that begins at the place of our grief and need. Who can celebrate a Blue Christmas? All who mourn from a recent loss or a loss from long ago that is felt so much at Christmas. All who feel the sadness from hateful events against humanity. All who feel the pain of any loss. Especially a family who experienced a tragedy near Christmas.

A Blue Christmas Service is also a hopeful celebration that ends with the belief that there is more to life than just what we see or feel. The time will come when we experience the place where everything is made right, and tears are wiped from our eyes, and we enjoy comfort in the presence of the One who was born to be with us.

I hope this post helps to explain what a Blue Christmas Service is and who it is for, emphasize the blessing that within Christmas celebration there is a special message of hope, love, joy and peace for those who are grieving, and support you so the effectiveness of your care will be better than ever.