"She was tender."

My wife and I were having brunch at one of our favorite Denver-area restaurants with a friend who had recently lost his wife.

The loss was beyond description.

They had no children. Family lived far away. It was just the two of them.

We had moved away and were not present when she passed, but back together, he described to us her final days, his prayers, her decline and the disease process of bacterial pneumonia. Often his chin quivered, his lips trembled and his eyes filled with tears as he told us the story. 

In the final moments, as they gathered around the hospital bed at CU Health--Highlands Ranch, he summed up the compassionate care of the Chaplain he greatly appreciated with the words, "She was tender."

He chose the word "tender" very carefully.
It was the type of treatment he needed in his sadness and that he wanted for his wife in her weakness to the point of death. For over four decades they were life long partners. They ran many races and marathons together, including the grueling Pikes Peak marathon--more than once! 

Tenderness is God's way of treating us in our most vulnerable state of need. There are many scripture references related to His tender mercies and care for those who rest in him.

In the sacred time of her passing from this life into the next, this strong and devout man and his beloved and dying wife needed tenderness--unhurried presence, gentle touch, peaceful silence, and careful awareness of spiritual and emotional needs in the clinical environment of a hospital.

The ability to express tenderness is intuitive and learned. Tenderness stands out, like light in the darkness of our busy, demanding and impersonal culture that grows more irritable and angry every day. Even with stress and overwork of a clinical setting, this Chaplain rose above the circumstances to express tenderness for a couple who needed and deserved tender care.

Valuing and studying tenderness will enhance the ministry of any Care Pastor or Care Giver.

When you minister care for someone who needs to be treated with tenderness, I pray the Holy Spirit empowers you to operate in tenderness, because your care matters.